The Christmas 'Jumper'

Seasonal skydiver's sonnet…

The modern Santa and his 'reindeer' — by Mark Wood
The modern Santa and his 'reindeer' — by Mark Wood

The Christmas 'Jumper'

by Karen Bannister

With Christmas time jumping, it is safe to say

Prepare for cold weather to disrupt your day

Temperatures dropping throughout your freefalls

You need to have pretty big jingle-bell balls!

You will have your suits to protect you somewhat

It does make more sense to go jump somewhere hot

As when that wind bites, feeling like minus thirty

Your face will resemble a pink frozen turkey

I have an idea, could prove to be awkward

Replace reindeer with wingsuits, could be the way forward

Imagine the striking sight over our skies

Seeing Santa being pulled by eight wingsuited guys

We'd think we've gone mad, cos flying reindeer aren’t weird??

We're told how they fly that fat man with the beard

But times have moved on, an update there should be

Men flying with presents would sure impress me

We should embrace change, life's not hearts and roses

At least they'd still have big red glowing noses

I'm sure the big man would enjoy all the banter

Let's face it a helmet's safer than an antler

Meanwhile, to all Christmas jumpers out there

It's cold when you're thousands of feet in the air

Go jump somewhere hot, fly over the ocean

Keep your chestnuts roasted not your snowballs deep frozen!!

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