Imagine waking up, turning on the telvision and hearing positive news about Scotland - imagine! The newsreader is telling us with pride that the new bridge is now open - nearly on time and under budget. She then proceeds to describe the new Scottish pfg, explaining how it is ambitious and forward thinking but possible in such an amazing country as ours. She describes how politicians south of the border are critical of the plan, saying that Scotland is too wee, too poor and too stupid to be able to carry out such improvements - if England can't reverse austerity and improve the lives of her citizens then Scotland has no chance. However, she knows, like we know that we can do it.
The newsreader then announces that Trump has finally been impeached and there has been a worldwide agreement on nuclear disarmament.
Heather then appears on our screen and tells us that we are going to get three straight days of sunshine … I know - I'm taking this too far now