We've all been in this situation & if you haven't, find yourself as one of the lucky ones. We all meet that one person that changes you, in more ways then you could ever understand. That toxic significant other.. Whether it's mentally, emotionally, physically or even all of them, it's a hard thing to over come or even move on from. The longer you stay, the harder it is for you to leave, because you feel.. obligated to stay, because if you walk away it feels like you're giving up on something you want so bad it hurts, they make you feel even worse if they know you're thinking about it too. They find their simple way to suck you back in, whether it's words, the love from them that you've craved for so long, the hope you have been wanting & wanting to see since it went away, the way they make you feel in that moment like they did when it all started. Trust me, wanting it back how it was in the beginning is complelty normal, we as humans crave a love & they made us believe that they were that kind of love. But no matter how long we continue to stay, how much you've begged them, how many times they've promised & swore to change, how they made you believe “the other one” wasnt really that, how many tears you've cried; even with them, it will never change, it will never get better, maybe for a short period of time but that's it.
The moment you've finally hit rock bottom & I mean rock bottom, when you just cant cry anymore tears. When you've just accepted that you can't change anything, no matter how much you want too. That's the first sign that you've broken free, from their control, rage, broken promises & feeling like you're constantly alone & not enough. Knowing & finally accepting that things wont get better unless you try to do it for yourself, because no matter what they say, you know its just lies. At that point, you've finally started to re-claim who you once was. But that's only the start & you have a long road ahead of you. But you did it, you broke free. Finally.