Have you ever walked in a room full of loved ones yet feel so lonely? or wondered why someone telling you “your great” or your doing a good job” isnt enough?
As a young child I grew up without my biological father. I never realized I didnt have a father figure until this one summer in particular. My siblings had gone away for the summer to be with their father, but I was left home alone because my father was not around. This began my journey of wanting to be validated as a daughter and accepted as a child. You see a daugther becomes a wife and then she becomes a mother, but if she isn't accepted as one by her father at an early age it can destroy the way she percieves herself when she becomes a wife and a mother. I wanted to be accepted as a child realzing now that it was essential for who I would become. Rejection at an early age can cause you to negate certain processes in your adulthood to avoid not being accepted. Being rejected caused me to put up so many walls trying to block others who didnt know by story from the “possible” thought of rejection. I loved being pampered and told I was doing well or ok but when things got shaky I would become hauty and bitter and fearful thinking that soon enough rejection was creeping in and validation for certain people would be no longer. I found myself running from myself only to end up back with the pain of being validated as a daughter by her father. anytime someone told me something that sounded like a father voice I hung tightly to those words but avoided getting closer to the invidual fearing that although i had done nothing wrong or got in the way of how they felt about me…i wouldn't be accepted. Thinking that I was allowed to be in their world, but not in their space. Not being accepted. That it was ok for them to hear about me but not ok for me to visit. Not being accepted. It was ok for people to say that I was doing well and share with others who thought the same but if I hung around too long or too many times i wouldnt be accepted. Although I had done nothing wrong my biological father didnt validate nor accept me. As a child it pierced my thought process and now…an adult. Where do I go from here? Who takes me from here? How do I get to being myself? Not running from myself, but keeping still knowing that I am validated and I am accepted? It was him. The greatest
Validation I couldve ever gotten. An acceptance that brings forth validity in his kingdom. Jesus Christ. He freed my.mind. He said when your mother and your father forsake you then I will take you up and Up he has taken me in my.mind. I am accepted by by father, Jesus Christ.